Wednesday, 18 April 2012

HadCRAP4

In their latest bid to prop up the forever failed hypothesis of CAGW, Climate Alarmists have released a monstrosity they call "HadCRUT4". And here it is:

HadCRUT4 graph. Crown Copyright removed. Real science doesn't have copyrights. This graph is now mine. If the Queen has a problem with that she can take it up with 49 NASA Astronauts.

What is HadCRUT4?
Alarmists will tell you that HadCRUT4 is a global temperature record. This isn't entirely correct, as per usual you have to watch the thimble closely with these guys. The part they aren't telling you is that HadCRUT4 is yet another component in a global fraud perpetrated on the free world by a state-funded hierarchy of scientific gatekeepers and their political handlers at the behest of elite power-brokers in the helm of government who may or may not be representing an ancient race of reptiles which have enslaved man and plan to tax them.

What is global temperature?
Global Temperature is a meaningless concept invented by alarmists. There is no such thing as "global temperature". I can pick holes in the concept all day and I do.

Is global warming caused by man?
No, the well documented increase in global temperature since the 19th century is entirely natural and wholesome. How do we know this? Because the warming started from a colder period. Therefore warming is logically just a recovery from the colder period. The alarmists would only have a point if the warming had started from a period warmer than today.

Observe how the recovery line from the colder period is entirely wholesome and natural:

Is HadCRUT4 accurate?
No. It's completely untrustworthy IPCC data engineered to support man-made global warming. It has been authored by Phil Jones and may have even been touched by Michael Mann. It's totally wrong and unusable. I can show you photos of stations next to AC Units and suggestive photos of airports.

Below I use HadCRUT4 to demonstrate remarkably precise natural cycles in the data which disprove man-made global warming. It turns out that once you've drawn a line through the middle of the data, some of the data is above the line and some is below. This sensational finding means I can draw an up and down thingy over it. Up and down thingies are called Cycles:
Rule of thumb: When constructing graphs it is best to use bright colors that clash. This way your point will literally burn itself into the readers' eyes.

Is it a coincidence that the Sun in the sky sometimes goes up and sometimes it goes down? No it is not. The Sun is a natural cycle too, and is the likeliest candidate for explaining the similar up-downisms of the pink line.

Can We Trust My Result?
Yes. Fortunately the HadCRUT4 global temperature data is extremely accurate, even back to the early 20th century, which gives me confidence that my close cycle-fit to the data must be correct.
Predicting The Future
Now that we have established a tight relationship between Global Temperature and the Sun we have the ability to predict the future. Needless to say it's Very Not The IPCC:
The eagle eyed reader may have spotted the word "Taxes" next to the down arrow. This is an error, it should have read "Ice age". I was thinking about something else when I was drawing the down arrow.

My advice to fellow climate deniers is to keep hammering away and remember the golden rule: "Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, well done you are getting better at fooling people."

P.S: I know there is a burning question on every regular reader's mind. I didn't address this at the start of the post, so me take the opportunity to do so now: No, Al Gore still has not got back to be about the live debate and yes I have updated the blog slogan to "Denial Depot: The world's most factual blog on global warming and climate change". This result was determined by a web poll so must be true.

P.S.S: There have been complaints about spammers in the comments. Spammers are part of the science too. Other blogs might censor comments but I refuse to. Besides clicking links in comment spam is how I do most of my shopping.

212 comments:

  1. Welldone!!!!
    U R so right and Globalwarming/CAGW/climatechange is all *R*O*N*G*

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    1. You need a set of statistical chops to pick the best points to start and end your linear regressives, and besides, the ARGO era hadn't yet started so how can you combine the earlier years with the later years without some sort of corrective application? bartending job

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  2. The way your pink line falls down at the end reminds me of a flaccid penis, which in turns suggests the impotence of all climate so-called "science". I think this must be further evidence that you are entirely correct.

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  3. One good thing about CAGW. We proud deniers are learning how to use words of more than two syllables. Sometimes we even use them properly. Eg big words like 'monstrosity' and 'perpetrated' and 'duplicitous'. And we're learning history, like Lysenko is alive and well and wanting to put all honest deniers into gulags (or is it scientists?) and that proves CAGW is a scam. Not sure what CAGW means - but I know it's bad and it's a fraud for rich keepers of or like Gates to make money by paying taxes and make one world a government or something. I think CAGW has something to do anthropo something or the other and means thinking animals behave like humans and belch CO2 so that plants can eat - or humans being animals - or am I mixing it up with the evolution scam?

    Whatever. They are all BIG ALARMIST WARMIST SCAMS. Everyone should be dead scared like I am about the ice age that's happening next year what I read on a blog so it must be true.

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  5. Endorphin Monkey19 April 2012 11:52

    There are so many problems with the reliability of this data. Look at the source. The Queen of the U.K. is not a real climate scientist (blog commenter) and does not work in "Met Office" which is the front office of the New York Mets baseball team, so how can we trust her as a source? I mean, like, really, you know, eh? Besides, the graph has "Crown Copyright" on it, which means it's a copy. WHY are they HIDING the ORIGINAL!!??

    And look at how old some of the temperature records are. Before 1910, temperatures were measured by how far a spoonfull of molasses ran down an inclined hunk of wood within a measured amount of time (timing was done by a person reciting "1 steamboat, 2 steamboats", etc.). If the molasses was frozen, it was pounded with a hammer. If it shattered and a shard hit someone in the eye, it was declared to be "really, really cold". That is not science! That is politics. And any "senior citizen" or old geezer will tell you that things are not like they were in the old days. That includes MOLASSES!

    I come to these conclusions through critical thinking, which is an important skill that should be taught in school. I learned it the old fashioned way, with a good thrashing behind the woodshed. It's about time we brought back the strap. 'Nuff said!

    ReplyDelete
  6. great minds think alike. That last graph reminds me about the bold predictions of Archibald and Mclean.

    Archibald:

    "As at late 2008, the progression of the current 23/24 solar minimum indicates that a severe cool period is now inevitable, similar to that of the Dalton Minimum. A decline in average annual temperature of 2.2° C is here predicted for the mid-latitude regions over Solar Cycle 24."

    Acutally, your "Ice Age" ("Taxes") arrow is not going enough far down.

    McLean is a bit more conservative (afraid of losing funding?):

    "it is likely that 2011 will be the coolest year since 1956 or even earlier"

    ReplyDelete
  7. Welcome back. The sheer graphiness of your latest post proves everything.

    The doubters were concerned that you might fallen to some warmist conspiracy or other. I, for one, was confident that you were probably busy working on plotting some important graphs for the Heartland Institute. For which, of course, you would receive a small honorarium representing not more than several years pay for the rest of us.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Unfortunately, there are psychopathic warmists, conspiring to raise our taxes, who would take the following two juxtaposed statements at face value and jump to the conclusion that you just make up anything you want as long as it sounds as if it supports what you want to believe!

    1)Is HadCRUT4 accurate? No. It's completely untrustworthy IPCC data engineered to support man-made global warming.

    2)Can We Trust My Result?
    Yes. Fortunately the HadCRUT4 global temperature data is extremely accurate

    The warmists' comprehension is so lacking that, unless you clarify matters, you might have damaged our noble cause to put back in to service all that carbon which God* unsportingly buried out of our easy reach


    * other deities are available

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  9. Awesome analysis by the best blog scientist there ever was.

    It is truly artistic the way you explain how the HADCRUT data shows a completely natural trend, while at the same time it was fabricated by the warmistas. Very well done, as it proves the point that there is never any reason to regulate my CO2 freedoms like the darn watermelons want to do.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bob, er, Inferno, you can't just draw a line from the beginning to the end of the data, that's a cherry-pick if you started at such an obvious low point and end at such an anomalously high point.

    You need a set of statistical chops to pick the best points to start and end your linear regressives, and besides, the ARGO era hadn't yet started so how can you combine the earlier years with the later years without some sort of corrective application?

    You're not going all "Mosher" on us are you??

    ReplyDelete
  11. OMG i've missed you! Please don't go away so long again... we need these critical analyses now more than ever!

    This is funny because it's true. And that's what makes it so sad. But then i read it again and i laugh, so it's all good.

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  12. Welcome back Dr. Inferno. I was like totally convinced by your graph, probably by the choice of monkcton pink, which is always a mark of authority and good, low tax sense.

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  13. Endolphin Ape, you are so right about molasses (and numerous other asses that fall short of Avogadro quantities), also about bringing back the strap. To be the real oldtimey article, it must be a blackstrap, which contains nutritious quantities of iron, probably in the core, driving the fusion engine. I hasten to add that today we use it to flog white bodies, gray bodies, or indeed of any color, so long as they radiate red noise.

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  14. The Sun is a natural cycle too, and is the likeliest candidate for explaining the similar up-downisms of the pink line.office furniture

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