Saturday, 16 January 2016

The Vineyards of Vostok

Photo of an Antarctic Vineyard, reconstructed from a French Vineyard proxy

Vikings fighting on the Antarctic Peninsula. Note the lack of sea ice.
Long ago the world was a much warmer place; The oceans boiled at the equator and griffin were seen flying as far North as Lancaster. Less well known are the Vikings, a fierce people from Northern Europe who travelled the world in ridiculously long boats, performing various acts that would ultimately derail the globull warming gravy train, including:
  1. Putting the word Green in Greenland to prove it had no ice whatsoever back then
  2. Setting up vineyards all over the Earth to demonstrate how warm it was everywhere
  3. Plundering the abbeys of the global warming high priests
  4. Sodding off back to Denmark when it got cold, therefore proving how hot it must have been in the first place
Reconstructing the past
The Vikings also left us a variety charts and temperature records from that era. Below is a copy of a Viking temperature record spanning approximately 1000 years. To my mind this is the kind of graph I want to believe in. I have no idea the methodology by which the Vikings recorded temperature, nor do I really care. Lets not ruin a good chart by asking questions.
Viking temperature graph

Fun fact: We wouldn't even know about this graph if They hadn't published it in the original IPCC report by mistake. The graph was pulled from subsequent IPCC reports by order of Al Gore himself, proving how sneaky and meticulous They are at controlling what They release.
So what's the problem?
There isn't one, I don't see one. The climate always changes, that's what it does. Up, down, left, right, in, out, etc. If the world was now as warm as NASA claim the Vikings would have already returned by now. As it stands the silence of the Vikings speaks volumes.
IF there is one thing history teaches us it is that warmer periods are better for mankind than colder periods. The warmth of the so-called Dark Ages saw humanity thrive, for example, unlike the much colder and unfavorable later period known as the Enlightenment that saw nothing but stagnation.

Sunday, 10 January 2016

There has been an Awakening

Mauna Loa, a desolate and windswept volcanic island located deep within the Pacific ocean. This is the mountain stronghold housing the last remnants of the climate science cabal. Beneath it's smoking slopes exists a vast labyrinth of laboratories, housing monolithic computers upon which an army of climate scientists endlessly toil, committing various arcane and blasphemous adjustments to raw data in a desperate bid to topple the global economy.
For over a decade the island has been relatively quiet, smoking ever so slightly. This era of peace was known as the Pause. But now rumor grows of a shadow in the Pacific. I fear a great El Nino may have stirred the island a little too much and woken up those who dwell within, driving them to fiddle data as never before.
Evidence, if you need it
I came to this realization last Thursday around lunchtime, as I was checking over some dusty old excel spreadsheets. I was horrified to find various climate records had turned alarming.

The above chart purports to show the annual increase of CO2 as measured at Mauna Loa itself. Whether carbon dioxide even exists at all is of course debatable, atoms being nothing more than a theory, but for the data to display 2015 as having the largest annual CO2 increase on record is unacceptably alarmist.

Above: Records of sea level and ocean heat also show recent highs. An observer untrained in the ways of blog science might even make the mistake of thinking the pause never happened.
A possible solution to the madness
I have theorized that if we could somehow bring the 1988 testimony of James Hansen to the volcanic peak of Mauna Loa and drop it into the fiery bowels of the infernal mountain itself, we would finally end the reign of Al Gore for good. It would be an arduous and perilous quest for some brave blog scientists, for Mauna Loa is said to be circled by predator drones controlled by the all seeing eye of Obama. Even more dangerous however is the corrupting nature of logic and facts. The person we send would have to carefully chosen, someone who possesses an inate immunity to reason. I would volunteer to do this myself, but I have been drinking a lot of wine lately and plan to drink quite a bit more.

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

The Disputed Cause of Rising CO2

Just a few years ago your eyes would have literally burned out from looking directly at this image. Today it is safe only because the Ice Age is coming.

There has been a recent upsurge of interest in denying humans are causing CO2 levels to rise. To help I thought I would type a quick cheat sheet for aspiring climate deniers.

Things That Must Not Be Blamed For Rising CO2
  1. Human fossil fuel emissions
Things That Can Be Blamed Instead
  1. Mauna Loa. A Big Volcano where scientists deliberately measure CO2.
  2. Underwater Volcanoes. Scientists admit they haven't even found Atlantis yet so how can they possibly know how many CO2 spewing volcanoes are underwater?
  3. Global Warming. Ice cores show the CO2 rise is caused by warming (remember to temporarily accept the validity of ice cores and the global temperature records).
  4. ENSO. Same way the Moon causes sea level rise.
  5. The Oceans. The oceans emit vast amounts of CO2 into the atmosphere every year. Just make sure not to mention how much they absorb. 
  6. The Chinese. If the Chinese did it no-one can tax blame us.
  7. Mars. CO2 from Mars's frozen ice caps have melted and are slowly seeping through the aether into Earth's atmosphere.
  8. The Sun. That burning Sun must give off a lot of exhaust fumes.
Why not use a few of these on your favorite blog? Why not use them all? They are all just as good.

Saturday, 20 October 2012

A New Theory of Climate

"Stop drinking the Kool Aid and learn how the Earths temperatures are controlled in the Book "Pyramid Gravity Force" available on Amazon, find out how mans penetration in Cheops the great pyramid of Giza, disabled the great pyramid of Giza which controlled the Hawaiian Island volcanic activity. Yes the Giza pyramid was the Earths thermostat until crazy humans broke it, read how the Earth has missed a few crucial mini ice ages and how we have a chance of saving the planet by getting the Giza pyramids back on line. Ancient Geo Engineering is real......And we still have a chance to save planet earth from the masive tectonic plate movement that are coming to blast us all into the stone age. Regardless of why the temperature rises on planet Earth, The pyramids are here to cool the planet down. These Earthquakes are just the beginning................"

Say what you will about the theory, but it makes a hell of a lot more sense to me than Al Gores CO2 Tax Theory. Because they can't stand challenges climate scientists have systematically omitted any discussion of the Pyramid Gravity Force from the IPCC report. The IPCC report's supposedly exhaustive list of climate forcings fails to mention the Pyramid Gravity Forcing. Even though it is a man-made forcing the corrupt IPCC is loathe to accept the idea because it's shadowy puppet-masters can't levy taxes for it. The solution of shutting the Giza pyramid door to fix climate change is too simple and can't be used as an excuse for world government.

The book cover shows "how the gravity beam travels from the Great pyramid of Giza to the Hawaiian Island via ricocheting off of the gravity neutral zone near the solid iron core at the center of the planet."

Makes sense to me. A quick fact check confirms there is an Island in Hawaii so this appears to pass preliminary examination. The Pyramid Gravity Force theory of climate is just one of many equally valid theories of climate that are springing up every day to challenge Mann-made Globebull Warming. They are all just as likely. How confusing. We can't possibly understand how climate works if there are so many competing theories! All theories of climate should be taught in schools as equal and let the children decide which one they want to believe. Maybe turn off the heat in one of the classrooms and tell the kids if they want to believe in Al Gore's theory that warming is bad they will have to sit in the cold room.

Note I am not saying the Pyramid Gravity Forcing theory is necessarily true. All I am seeking to do is to spread doubt and confusion about the cause of climate change under the guise of "exploring different theories" while disassociating myself from the theories I advocate in order to maintain deniability, and no I am not copying WUWT, I thought of this plan myself.

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Ice Age Alert: Unprecedented Arctic Sea Ice Freeze In Progress

Arctic Sea Ice Increases Past FOUR MILLION Square Kilometers For The First Time Since Records Began!

Unprecedented 4 MILLION Sqkm Benchmark Smashed!

Never before has Arctic Sea Ice increased from below 4 million square kilometers to above 4 million square kilometers. Will the mainstream media now correct their discredited claims made just a month ago that the Arctic is melting?

IPCC Didn't See It Coming! They Expected Melt! Crisis Meeting with Al Gore.

IPCC big wigs will be in crisis talks with Al Gore tonight as Arctic Sea Ice unexpectedly froze past 4 million square kilometers for the first time in history according to Japanese Data [1]. The new data reveals the Earth to be in a Cooling Mode and undermines Anthropogenic Global Warming, which is revealed to be based on nothing less than the recently discredited Laws of Thermodynamics.

DenialDepot is officially sounding an Ice Age Alert for all Northern Hemisphere countries. In the next 4 months: Expect Colder Temperatures than you've experienced in the last 4 months. If you or your family live in the following countries Be Prepared.
  • United States of America
  • Canada
  • Europe
  • Norway
  • New Zealand
  • USSR
How You Can Prepare For An Ice Age
  • Wrap up Warm.
  • Build a Bunker. 
  • Keep reading Denial Depot for Ice Age Alert updates.
  • Lobby your congressman to reduce taxes and relax regulations on banks and industry.
[1] data source